Monday, September 5, 2011

Monday Musings.

OK, so today's topic is Edible Arrangements.

Granted, whoever thought these up is a marketing genius, a wizard!

In theory.

But really. Really? Could this be any grosser?

First, they have to chop, slice, pare, julienne, shape, carve, notch, and skewer all your fruit by hand. Then they have to carefully, oh so carefully, arrange each and every individual piece into a bouquet, also by hand.

Now. By gloved hand or bare hand, one will never know.

And then, once you receive one such Edible Arrangement, what are you to do? Do you leave it out on the staph staff room coffee table, or in the conference room, or on your own desk? Do you leave it sitting out on the kitchen table at home? Does it just SIT THERE, collecting dust, sneezes, and fruitflies?

Your other option, I suppose, is to stick it in the refrigerator. But some of these beasts wouldn't even fit. The ones that do--do they just sit there, weeping cantaloupe juice? Strawberries turning to mush? Do you take nibbles off it for a week? Do you cover it in Saran Wrap? And if so, what is the point? It would be as if you received a beautiful arrangement of purple orchids and then shoved them in a drawer.

Edible Arrangements. Totally gross, or rad?



  1. To a fellow OCD'er kinda gross. Unless you eat the fruit the same day what is the point?

  2. I used to think totally rad until I read this. Thanks a lot POAHTS! ... lol .. .I threw away my loofah yesterday too.

  3. I vote rad on certain occasions. For instance, I got one of these, instead of flowers, when I got home from the hospital with Evangeline. It fed me for a week and none of the fruit went back. Flowers would have annoyed me b/c I had no time to care for them and they would dry out and make a mess.

    So how did I handle it?..I took pictures for memories of how awesome it looked, then hubby and I took all the fruit off and into a colander, rinsed and stored with paper towel in a giant Tupperware in the fridge. We filled bowls with it anytime we were snaky, and it kept us full and healthy with yummy fresh fruit. No one got E. Coli poisoning.

  4. We used to think they were cool but now we hate them for various reasons besides your own:

    *where we live, when they get delivered it's at least 10PM!?!? and of course it's always on a holiday and the kids are fussy or irritated or have cabin fever because we were out celebrating with friends or stayed home all weekend and did nothing because that's hot mommy & daddy like to spend their holidays, so they go to bed late, but then get woken up 20 min later to the weird fruit guy. we only get them from my MIL and we've told her to stop, but we keep getting them!

    *we take them apart by hand and separate all the fruits into separate bowls so they don't mush up and combine juices (i'm super ocd about which foods can touch each other)

    *fortunately, my kids eat fruit like there is no tomorrow, so they only last a day or a day & a half, because there really isn't THAT much fruit on them!

  5. On a side note - how do you handle processed food? I watch those "Unwrapped" or other shows on TV that show the whole process of how a tortilla is made (or other type of food) and the whole time I wonder how they can ever really clean and disinfect every piece of equipment the food touches.

    Doesn't stop me from eating a tortilla though. :)

  6. Aha...thank for all the insight. :)

    And chels, I handle it by trying not to think about it. ;)

  7. I'm on board with chocolate dipped anything. Especially fruit. Also, because the chocolate would get all melty one would have to eat the entire bouquet in one sitting, of course.