Saturday, February 23, 2013

Dark Water.

I'm just gonna leave this here.

It can never be good when the URL includes the words Hotel + Water + Corpse. I'm just saying.

"Tourists staying at a Los Angeles hotel bathed, brushed teeth and drank water from a tank in which a young woman's body was likely decomposing for more than two weeks, police said." ...

"The water did have a funny taste," Sabrina Baugh told CNN on Wednesday. She and her husband used the water for eight days.

A funny taste. A funny taste. EIGHT DAYS. OF CORPSE. EIGHT DAYS OF CORPSE WATER. Could the funny taste be maggots and flesh rot? Funny. A funny taste. Hilarious.

"The shower was awful," she said. "When you turned the tap on, the water was coming black first for two seconds and then it was going back to normal."

Black. Black corpse water. Corpse water. Showering in a dead body.

The end.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Fun Phobic Fact Friday!


1. Ever have a craving for a peanut butter sandwich? That thick, yummy, and creamy goodness. In one pound of peanut butter, it typically can contain up to 150 bug fragments and 5 rodent hairs. [Ed. Note: Who's making these sandwiches, Remy??]

2. House flies go to the bathroom roughly every 4.5 minutes. Think about that next time you see one fly on your delicious dinner. [Ed. Note: "House flies go to the bathroom" strikes me as a ridiculous way to phrase it. I think "House flies visit the lavat'ry" would be much better.]

3. Step outside and smell the roses. On a daily average you will inhale 1 liter of others anal gasses.

4. In the mood for fast food? An average person will consume 12 pubic hairs in their fast food annually. Gross! [Ed. Note: Are the fast food workers folding your quesadilla betwixt their legs? Seriously guys, you had one job.]

5. It's summer time, and that means the pools are open! If you swim one hour in a public pool you will intake 1/12 liters of urine. [Ed. Note: "But urine is sterile!!" all you filth monsters insist. (1) It's not sterile when it exits through a person's junk; and (2) even if that were true, who wants to ingest sterile urine anyway?]

6. Creepy crawling cockroaches. As if they aren't disgusting looking enough. These insects carry over 40 different pathogens which risk being transferred to humans. Included is pneumonia, plague, hepatitis, and typhoid fever just to name a few.

7. Need to use the bathroom? When a person pees, a small deposit of urine enters the mouth through the saliva glands. [Ed. Note: I didn't realize that one's ureters were directly connected to their mouth. lol.]

8. Need that morning jump? Next time you go out to the coffee shop think about this, diarrhea induced E.Coli was found on 10% of coffee mugs in the U.S. [Ed. Note: I'll have a grande nonfat vanilla soy bum-bum germs latte, please. Hold the whip.]

9. Enjoy a nice cup of yogurt? You might want to double check the ingredients again. Some yogurts and jelly sweets contain beef or pork gelatin. [Ed. Note: That's what gelatin is. Horse hoofs and such as. Ever eat Jell-O? Same thing.]

10. Think you've got it bad when you vomit? The longest recorded projectile vomiting is 27 feet. I wonder what he ate. [Ed. Note: Yeah? You think that's impressive? Well the longest cat projectile vomit was eight feet.]

11. We all like a man who gives a nice firm hand shake. However, you might want to think twice before returning the firm grip. Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbated and did not wash their hands.

12. Through contact with door knobs, counter tops, and other daily objects your hand will come in contact with 15 penises a day. [Ed. Note: At least it's not 9,000 penises.]

13. When we sleep we are the most relaxed and at peace. Who would've thought that while you are snoozing you were inhaling bugs! In a years time, most humans will consume 14 insects while in their sleep. [Ed. Note: Someone should tell the author that inhaling is different from consuming. Lung spiders are bad mmkay?]

14. Having work done to your house? Research has shown that in a lifetime you will have had 22 workmen examine the dirty contents of your linen basket. [Ed. Note: Who is leaving the Fios guy alone long enough for him to sneak into your laundry room??]

15. Here comes the bride. Next time you're planning to attend a wedding reception you might want to bring a hanker chief. You have a 1/100 chance of taking home a cold sore from one of the guests. Cold sores are a form of oral herpes! [Ed. Note: Why weddings? And how? Are you going around taking sips out of everyone's champagne?]

Phifteen phun phobic phacts for you to enjoy.