Monday, October 24, 2011

Monday Musings.

Can drinkin' likker really disinfect a wound?

I don't mean, can consuming some alcohol clean a boo-boo. I mean, can the liquor that we drink, y'know, drinkin' likker, cleanse a wound, or maybe your hands, in a pinch?

 Should I be carrying around a flask of Absolut instead of a mini-Purell?

You know how in old movies you see a person dump a half a fifth of whiskey on some pour soul's leg before hacking it clean off at the knee, or some such bullshet like that? Is the alcohol that we drink really strong enough to cleanse a wound, or to disinfect the skin's surface before minor "surgery" like removing a limb or three in an emergency?

One wonders.

The American Journal of Surgery: Volume 29, published in 1915, thinks that you can.

But then again, they thought that the very best way to disinfect the area is with motherfucking gasohol.

All they are give booze a chance.

So I'm still left to wonder if drinkin' likker does anything to really clean an existing wound or disinfect the area before performing a bit of the old quack hack.

Not that I'm planning to slice anyone's leg off at the knee or anything. Not anytime soon. But I mean, don't piss me off, because I have plenty of drinkin' likker around.

"Here, bite down, this Crown Royal 
is going to sting a little..."


  1. How many drinks does it take before the alcohol affects you? I only ask because you made it clear in a previous entry that you have magic kidneys that won't even allow Tylenol to work.

    (P.S. Did I use affect correctly there? I fucking hate grammar.)

  2. It's really hard to say, Ches. If I drink a LOT, I go from "nothing to sick." Like, I feel absolutely nothing, and have one more drink and it's "OH SHIIII." I never, ever get that pleasant tipsy feeling, or get drunk without being sick. I'm told I do get more talkative and a little bit sillier, but I never "feel" it.

    However, I can drink a sailor under the table. Like, I could drink probably 9-10 ounces of vodka in a sitting (typical drink is 1.5 oz), then rest a hot minute and keep going.

    I have a liver of steel and iron kidneys. Magic organs, I tell you.

    Oh, and you used affect correctly. ;)

  3. I may have used affect correctly, but I was affected by the dumb and mixed up kidney and liver. :P Obvs I meant to say magic LIVER because that's the one that would really process the alcohol... :)

  4. Oh well, it has to go through the kidneys at some point. ;) And it apparently goes through mine quick like whistle. But yeah, they used to call me Liver Lass back in the day. I could swill tequila with the best of 'em.

  5. PS: I should take back my first comment. Every now and then, there's a Perfect Storm and I do get a little giggly and tipsy and I feel a little good from The Drink. It does affect me in certain ways, just never, ever like a normal person. And I do like the taste of it, and I'm always shooting for that Perfect Storm, which is why I keep it around. ;)

  6. I think carrying around the flask of Absolut is a pretty good idea myself--maybe not for wound disinfection, but to liven up an otherwise boring day!


  7. im with Janice-no harm in carrying around a flask of Absolut-you never know when you'll need it!!

  8. You said it, girls. Bottoms up! Or is that bum-bums up?

  9. I can verify that Jo can indeed hold her liquor. I have witnessed it. It is something to behold.

  10. It's been too long since we've drunk liquor in each other's presence, though, Gennie. A sadly long time. Darn these kids and responsibility and such. We need to break out the My Little Ponies sometime. Except now we'll have actual kids playing with them.