So I've started seeing another psychiatrist. You may recall that my first endeavor didn't go so well--at first I liked him, but then he started rubbing me the wrong way, and when he blamed me for going "quite a long time over our time limit" when in reality his previous client had actually gone 30 minutes too long and he and I were only 5 minutes past the hour, I started questioning my relationship with him. Pus, he wasn't covered by insurance. Oops, forgot to check that one. So I stopped seeing him and just started seeing my regular family practitioner, since all we were doing was managing meds, not having talk-therapy. Finally, this became a little too much for my regular doc, and she cried uncle, and nothing was working even though I was on like 8 different meds, so I started seeing a different in-network psychiatrist. So far so good, even though we're only two sessions in.
He's a slight-framed Indian lad who I'll call Dr. P.
Dr. P has a subtle willowy barely-there lisp, but it makes him all the more endearing. It makes him sound gentle. Our first session was good--he asked about a zillion questions, some of which were incredibly hard to answer (have you ever had suicidal thoughts, have you ever harmed yourself, etc.). But I think it went well. Today, our session was a little tougher, as he doesn't specialize in "cognitive behavior therapy" (CBD) related to my OCD, so besides the usual "how're yer meds doin" chat, we couldn't talk about that much. But it was still good. He is changing up my meds, adding this, subtracting this, and he really wants me to see a therapist specializing in CBD/OCD.
Anyway, I'll be seeing him for awhile, and since you, my fans, are all hanging on to my every word I say, I will let you know if his cocktail of meds works. So far, the one I've been on for months & months now has had exactly NO effect whatsoever. And I'm on some hardcore shit. Again, my body betrays me. Nothing works on me like it does for the typical person. (Hence my SEVEN OR EIGHT MILLIGRAM DOSE (that's 7-8 tablets, kids) OF KLONOPIN, which still amounted to nothing, and a blood test confirmed that it's barely even in my system.) Sigh.
11/28/11: I've got to confess, I'm sitting here having an actual cocktail, not just a medicinal cocktail, even though I'm on SSRIs 'n "DO NOT MIX WITH ALCOHOL"s 'n shit, because that's just how I roll. Danger is my middle name. Or Al Coholic. Whatever. I'm drinking it from my one and only martini glass, which always makes me happy. Wouldn't this glass make you happy?
And as I typed this, sitting here sipping my Sidecar, my 4-year-old came over and demanded a taste. When she asks for a taste of my wine, I dip a pinkie finger in it and let her lick it off (yay for defying hygiene!), so I did the same with my Sidecar. I said, "It probably tastes a little strong for you, Love," at which point she declared, "I LOVE SIDECARS!!" and wanted another pinkie-taste. MOTHER OF THE FUCKING YEAR OVER HYAR.
Can I get a what what!
Continued 11/29/11: I had to take Naomi to the doctor today. You know it's bad when I resort to that, since the pediatrician's office is what my nightmares are made of. I sit there in the doctor's office and pray to the Patron Saint of Rugrats that none of the other kids breathe in our direction. Anyway, we were there because the "simple" cold we all caught hit Naomi so hard (hit us hard too, but it affected the baby the worst). We were at the pediatrician's office a couple weeks ago too. This cold has lasted for four weeks as of tomorrow, and it went from a wretchedly bad cough and horrific congestion to a sinus infection and now, from today's diagnosis, a double ear infection. My poor baby. And she's always in such a good mood, even when she has to be miserable. Her whole head must hurt, and she's still coughing all the time and super snotty and phlegmy. This is exactly why I feared her getting sick. This cold didn't teach me "ahh, colds aren't that bad," it reinforced how scary they can be, having to worry constantly about her breathing during the night, etc. So now if anything I'm even more scared of the common cold. This has been a horrible month, and she still has a long way to go. Probably another couple weeks until she's better. So this "cold" and all its complications will have lasted SIX WEEKS. That is hell on a baby and her parents. So sad. So miserable.
Anyway, that's all I got for you. I've been losing my blogging mojo lately. Boo!