I did it. I've done it. I fuckin' did it.
I SAW CONTAGION.
I handled it well, I think. It was pretty much as I expected. Lots of handshakes. Lots of touching doorknobs. Lots of sweaty upper lips and flushed cheeks. Lots of hand sani placed strategically. Lots of smiling, toothy, slurred Gwyneth Paltrow lines. WHAT'S IN THE BOX?
WHAT'S IN THE BOOOOOOX???
Oh, but Jude Law's janky fake front tooth? Completely unnecessary.
I remember thinking I should have taken my notebook and pen, movie-critic style, but instead I just wrote notes all over my hand throughout the movie, things I'd noticed, things I was going to blog about, things that were going to BLOW YOUR MIND.
However, by the time I got home, I'd washed my hands so many times, I now can't read my notes.
Well shit. But I swear, it was some great stuff. Genius. Award-winning.
I do, however, remember one part with great glee. A character was talking to a disease expert (portrayed by Kate Winslet), describing his wife's reaction to the outbreak, saying, "She makes me strip down and take off all my clothes in the garage before entering the house, then she slathers me with Purell. Isn't this over the top?"
Kate Winslet answers with a simple, "...No."
I silently laughed my proverbial bum-bum off. Because that is soooo me & my husband. And I felt vindicated. Actually, this whole movie made me feel vindicated. Everything made me want to scream, "SEE?! See? You can fuckin DIE if you touch an airplane drinking glass! Your face will rot off it you touch poker chips at a casino! YOU WILL KILL THE WORLD IF YOU DO NOT WASH AFTER TOUCHING YOUR BLACKBERRY!!!1112@#!"
I also found it humorous how in one scene, Kate Winslet had obviously pulled the duvet cover off her
hotel bed. Way to go, Kate! That's using your noodle.
