It's Never Too Late for a Christmas Miracle.

If you love me, vote for me. :)

I think the baby Jesus would.

Merry Christmas, my people.

Tricksies.

Dial Soap, you can't fool me. I'm on to you. You think you're being so sly, but I know you've reduced the size of your soap, cheating me out of a substantial chunk of your antibacterial goodness, yet charging the same damn price.

I mean, who's with me? Who remembers when Dial used to be a thick, heavy, manly, perfectly rectangle chunk of soap that you could put in the toe of a sock and beat the shit out of someone with?

And now it's just this lightweight little pussy of a shape-with-no-name and a great gouge taken out of it, saving Henkel Consumer Corporation money and causing me great anguish. Behold.

You thought I wouldn't notice. But I'm on to you. Scammers.

Fuck you, Dial.

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Also: Oh boy. Only 11 people think I'm funny. So sad.

I Got Nommed, Y'all!

U guise!! My friend over at ParenTwin.com nominated me for Funniest Blog.  Check me out, and people--if you've ever laughed at one of my rants, or because of me you've held your breath when walking by someone who sneezed, or thought of me when touching restaurant ketchup bottles and then used some hand sani afterward, and pretty please vote for me! Click like like like! While you're there, have a look at ParenTwin and show her some love too. :)

It's a major award!!