Things What Are in My Purse.

Since women care about these things...

These items are in my purse Right As Of Now.

We have:

• Three packs of gum, for ever-fresh breath
• A business card for The Nail Palace, which is Our Place (or was before I decided to push my plate away and say NO MORE ACRYLICS FOR ME, MOM)
• A receipt for a mani/pedi at The Nail Palace
• My well-loved, well-used, gross leather wallet
• Several lipsticks and lip glosses

• Two pens
• My checkbook
• A piece of scratch paper with notes on it of what I wanted to tell my doctor the next time I saw her to discuss my OCD
• A Benjamin Washington

• A blemish cover-stick
• A teency tinecy tin of Altoids
• A cell phone
• A teency tincey flashlight
• The absolute most important item: PURELL. I would die without this. I use it on the regular.

• A ticket stub for Bridesmaids, one of the funniest fucking movies I've ever seen.
• **I was not paid for this endorsement**

• No those aren't condoms, they are sunscreen wipes, the best invention evaaaar.
• **I was not paid for this endorsement**
• A Sebastian lipstick called "Honesty," my absolute favorite shade, that has somehow lasted me for ten years, even I use it all the time. Good thing it lasts so long because they don't make it anymore!

• **I was not paid for this endorsement**
• **Someone should pay me for these endorsements**
• Germicidal wipes that I stole, yes STOLE, from a doctor's office

Usually you can find within my purse a few more antibacterial items, and a lot more crap, but I just did a Purse Purge. So there you have it. My purse contents. But now that I look at it in detail, I still need to add a whole mess of these:

Will do.

What's in your purse? Tell mama, child. I want pictures.