Showing posts with label church. Show all posts
Showing posts with label church. Show all posts

Monday, May 14, 2012

Monday Musings: Praising Jesus Edition.

Do they chlorinate baptismal pools in which people are immersed body and soul? Because, I mean, Holy bum-bum germs! (If you will pardon the pun.)










Do they ever clean out the inside of decorative baptismal fonts from which they scoop and pour water? All those priestly hand bacteria and cradle-cap crap and Protestant sneezes.




Is it OK to be pissed off in church when the person behind you is sniffling and sneezing and coughing their brains out? Does it make the baby Jesus cry when you think angrily, "Couldn't they have praised the Lord from HOME today?" Does He command you, "But I say, do not rise up against an evildoer! If someone sneezes upon your right cheek, turn and offer the other cheek also"?






Do you ever think about how many germs are passed betwixt people when sharing the Peace of the Lord following the sermon?




Influenza be with you. 
"--And also with you."









And on the eighth day God created hand sani. 
Thanks be to God.