Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The Benjamins. Not just for snorting Cocaine.

A study on the thingies what are found on your moneys.

"In a 2002 study published in the Southern Medical Journal, researchers at Wright-Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio found that 94 percent of the 68 bills tested were contaminated with bacteria ...  7 percent harbored dangerous pathogens, including Klebsiella pneumoniae, which can cause infections such as pneumonia, and Staphylococcus aureus, which can cause skin and other infections. Other experiments have found the fecal bacteria E. Coli."

Are you willing to take the risk, ARE YOU??

" 'Paper money is a good conduit of germs,' said Tierno, author of The Secret Life of Germs, "--the older ones more so."

Don't care about E.Coli? How about snow, blow, crack, weasel dust, and paradise white?

"Paper currency certainly is a good conduit of cocaine. A 2009 University of Massachusetts study that tested 234 bank notes from 18 U.S. cities found 90 percent of the bills tested positive for cocaine."

Also, "A 2001 study of 10 one-dollar bills, published in Forensic Science International, also found 70 percent contaminated with heroin, 30 percent with methamphetamine and 20 percent with PCP."

Don't be licking your dollar bills, son. Lest you go on a bad, bad trip.


  1. There is one place I draw the line. One thing that grosses me out more than anything else. Thy dirty money. Not to be confused with the show Dirty Sexy Money which was amazing and should never have been canceled and still makes me angry that I never saw the final episode. I digress, money in the someone's mouth is the single most foulest thing ever. If you have ever seen a fat lady pull a crumpled up bill out of her sweaty side boob, you will never ever put money anywhere near your moufs again.

    Rant over.

    1. I concur with Ms. Thea. Boob-money is the worstest. In college, I worked at Bass Pro Shops for a while and a very well endowed lady wearing a wife-beater and overalls came up to my register with about SIX boxes of bullets...which she had piled onto her chesticles and ample cleave, I guess to make them easier to carry, or to keep them nice & warm and slightly sweaty. After unloading them onto my counter, she then retrieved a fat wad of cash, also from the cleave-al area. There's really not enough hand-sani in the world.

  2. On a mostly unrelated note, the part about the "study of 10 one-dollar bills" made me laugh, even though it wasn't meant to be funny. Did they really have to break it down into percentages?

    "We checked 10 bills. 7 had smack, 3 had meth and 2 had PCP. Now what can we do to make this data sound more complicated?"