So, I do believe I've lost my JoJo Mojo, baby, yeah.
Not sure what precisely to blog about these days. Got any ideas? Questions? SHOOT 'EM MY WAY. Help me help you. Or just HELP ME. Cos I am SPENT, son. Spent.
I did want to say, my newest "how did I ever live without it" item is the automatic Purell dispenser. Yeah, the kind you see in hospitals. You know, the hands-free kind:
BUT IT'S ON MY HOME BATHROOM WALL.
You heard me. I have an institutional-sized automated Purell robot on the lilac walls of my guest bathroom. Also known as Maya's bathroom. Why?
WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT.
Why, Redux? So that Maya can more easily dispense the proper amount of hand sani, instead of getting barely any from the pump and throwing my whole world for a loop.
See, in eons past, I would hear Maya fussing about in the lavat'ry. Then I'd hear a flush, after which I'd wait a tick and then scream out, "DID YOU USE HAND SANI? OMG DID YOU!?! DIIID YOOOU??!?!!?"
Now, see, I just wait and listen for that mechanical robotic "AsqueeEeech!" that announces that Maya has indeed used the hands-free automated Purell dispenser. That "AsqueeEeech!" is music to mine ears.
Now, occasionally, this is what I hear: "pee pee tinkle" "flush" "AsqueeEeech!" "AsqueeEeech!" "AsqueeEeech!" "AsqueeEeech!" "AsqueeEeech!" which means that Maya has abused the automated hand sani, using a tad too much. But she's a lady after my own heart: can you really have too much hand sani?
Anyway. The dispenser is nailed and adhesed tightly to the guest bathroom wall. Now that I also have my "Jesus and Germs Are Everywhere" sign posted front & center at the doorway of my home, people will definitely, definitely think I have gone FULLY, fully, 100% bananas.
I guess the only thing I still need is a sign on my front door reading: