So, I do believe I've lost my JoJo Mojo, baby, yeah.
Not sure what precisely to blog about these days. Got any ideas? Questions? SHOOT 'EM MY WAY. Help me help you. Or just HELP ME. Cos I am SPENT, son. Spent.
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I did want to say, my newest "how did I ever live without it" item is the automatic Purell dispenser. Yeah, the kind you see in hospitals. You know, the hands-free kind:
BUT IT'S ON MY HOME BATHROOM WALL.
WELL WHY THE FUCK NOT.
Why, Redux? So that Maya can more easily dispense the proper amount of hand sani, instead of getting barely any from the pump and throwing my whole world for a loop.
See, in eons past, I would hear Maya fussing about in the lavat'ry. Then I'd hear a flush, after which I'd wait a tick and then scream out, "DID YOU USE HAND SANI? OMG DID YOU!?! DIIID YOOOU??!?!!?"
Now, see, I just wait and listen for that mechanical robotic "AsqueeEeech!" that announces that Maya has indeed used the hands-free automated Purell dispenser. That "AsqueeEeech!" is music to mine ears.
Now, occasionally, this is what I hear: "pee pee tinkle" "flush" "AsqueeEeech!" "AsqueeEeech!" "AsqueeEeech!" "AsqueeEeech!" "AsqueeEeech!" which means that Maya has abused the automated hand sani, using a tad too much. But she's a lady after my own heart: can you really have too much hand sani?
AsqueeEeech!
Anyway. The dispenser is nailed and adhesed tightly to the guest bathroom wall. Now that I also have my "Jesus and Germs Are Everywhere" sign posted front & center at the doorway of my home, people will definitely, definitely think I have gone FULLY, fully, 100% bananas.
I guess the only thing I still need is a sign on my front door reading:
Were did you get an industrial size dispenser for your home inquiring minds would love to know?
ReplyDeleteI'd like to see another Things I Do, an introspective on having children, what are some things your kids do that you either stop them from doing or let them do while developing an eye twitch, Does your local news have a "What's going around" segment?
ReplyDeletei've noticed that you've been conspicuously absent lately.
ReplyDeletesometimes all our writing wells run dry. the good news is, they fill back up again eventually.
You crack me up! I am glad you are back since you manage to make me smile and I need that lately!
ReplyDeleteMommy Bags: My mom actually got that for me...wait for it...FOR CHRISTMAS! Hahaha. Along with Kleenex hand towels, the paper kind, so that I don't have to reuse a grody cloth towel. Sorry, environment. So I'll have to ask her where she got it, because after all, I'm going to need refills. :)
ReplyDeleteMandi: Woot! Thanks for the ideas. And not sure about that What's Going Around thing...
Sherilin: I've even been neglecting Words Wif Friends!
Maria: My work here is done! ;)
First off, I am now concerned about your resale because you are going to have a big adhesive patch on your wall. My hubs would have a heart attack over that.
ReplyDeleteSecond, glad to see you back. I have thought about you several times over the past few days in some dicey germ sit-tche-ations. The first is the fact that my child lives to drink her bath water. How do you feel about that? Also, what do you do if your chil-runs take a wee in their bath water? Do you try on clothes at stores? Do you worry hand-sani is killing your good germs too? ( you might have talked about that last one before I started reading) Have you ever watched Fear Factor where they eat all the nasty stuff? Have you traveled abroad and if so how did you handle those euro duvet covers and hostel bathrooms?
That is all i can think of right now. You have been greatly missed. Now.....GO.
T-ster
ps> you are an environmental terrorist with those paper towel thingys for the bathroom. but i still lurve you.
ReplyDeleteI still want to see (or just read) a DITL of Jo. :) I'd also like to hear about the births of your babies and how you felt staying in the hospital. Was it stressful? Or did you not even care because, you know, you just gave birth and all. :) Did you obsessively watch the nurses/doctors to make sure they washed and hand sani-ed before they came into your room?
ReplyDeleteOne more question (for now). :) Do you eat out very often? I mean fast food or grab-and-go places (like Starbucks). Just curious if that's too difficult to sanitize...
ReplyDeleteDirty T and Ches: Love these ideas. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't have an automatic Purell dispenser, but I do have those no-touch Lysol hand soap dispensers. Whoever invented those things is my friend.
ReplyDeleteJanice: That's totally gonna be my next step. :)
ReplyDelete