Friday, October 14, 2011

Fun Friendly Phobic Fact Friday!

Next time you are out shopping, please ignore the stinkeye of other, more granola shoppers* and put your child in one of these:

* I once had a brazen elderly gent at Trader Joe's tell me I was doing a great disservice to my gnawing infant 's immune system by protecting her from shopping cart germs. I wanted to tell him, "OK buster, let's see YOU fucking lick this shopping cart handle, you rat bastaaaad."

I mean CUB OD. (PS: Steve Carrell, is that you?)

FACT: Dr. Charles Gerba, Ph.D., is an internationally renowned environmental microbiologist and is also known much to my amusement as Dr. Germ. Here are his thoughts on the matter.
"Those covers made for the seat area of the shopping cart were created for good reason: 'We find more E. coli on shopping carts than on toilet seats,' Dr. Gerba says. 'In addition to germs from food [and grubby grubby hands], children’s dirty bottoms are going in the seat—and the carts are hardly ever cleaned.' " 
Bum-bums galore, I tell you!

He continues--
"The checkout screens where you swipe your credit or ATM card aren’t great, either. In some grocery stores, up to 80% have E. coli on them—likely picked up from people handling leaky meat packages and unwashed produce, then touching the screen. Another germy spot: Your reusable grocery bag. Yes, you’re being environmentally conscious, but bacteria from meat and produce from your last trip are probably still in there. 'Only 3% of people surveyed say they have ever washed their totes, and half use them for carrying other things, like dirty clothes,' Dr. Gerba says. 'That’s like hauling your groceries home in your dirty underwear.'"

Sorry, Bob. Sorry, Larry.

Grocery cart covers serve a purpose! Use yours with pride!
And screw those old crotchety men who try to tell you otherwise!


  1. omg, the skidmark on the veggie tale undies is disgusting & hilarious!
    when my daughter was a baby, they didn't have those shopping seat covers yet, so i always carried clorox wipes with me into the store & would wipe down any surface baby would be touching or able to reach. the thought of her sucking that unwashed cart was more than i could handle.

  2. I love fucking around with MS Paint so much. I need Photoshop so badly.

    And I totally did the Clorox wipes thing before shopping cart covers, too.

  3. Ha! I wash my reusables! I'm a conservationist AND a germ-o-phobe.

    I am always fascinated that people think they have the right to stop you in public and offer critique about your personal choices. Oh well.

  4. What's amazing about my encounter with this gent (and I may have blogged about this before, my memory isn't what it used to be), is that he goes, "Children need to be exposed to germs." (Bear in mind the baby was about 7 months old. Yeah. She needed to be exposed to germs like I need a third nipple.) I said, "Oh, she gets plenty of germs, we have a dog and two cats" (which was true at the time). He LITERALLY recoiled in horror and said "oh no!" I was like, "WHAT THE FUCK, SIR? WHAT THE FUCK??" I guess he wanted her to suck the everliving shit (pun intended) out of the shopping cart handle (including the fecal matter and staph thereon), but being exposed to pets and their dander was just going WAY TOO FAR. Too, too far, Janice. Too far.

  5. "'Only 3% of people surveyed say they have ever washed their totes, and half use them for carrying other things, like dirty clothes,' Dr. Gerba says."

    People WHAT.

  6. I wear Alex in a carrier on my front or back when we're shopping for this exact reason. Plus, less chance of him falling out of the cart like I did when I was wee. I tend to get positive comments from people instead of crotchety old animal-hating man comments. And I still (when I remember/have wipes with me) wipe down the shopping cart where I'm going to be touching it, cause ew.

  7. OMG... I love you!! You had me laughing (and gagging) my ass off! Where did you get those pics?? I love the one with the veggie tales (I think)in the skid-marked underooz! LOL!

  8. Love it I sue the same thing for my child because I am convinced that my child got a really bad stomach flu from grocery cart a few months ago.

  9. Mommy 2 cents, I make a lot of these silly pictures in MS paint. I just find what I need on Google Image and put them together myself. I amuse myself greatly. ;-) The Veggie Tales/skidmark one was particular fun for me to make.

  10. some people need to mind their own damn business!! who wants there kid gnawing on the cart handles-i sure don't! love those seat cover thingies.

    and making crazy pictures in paint is probably the greatest thing in the world!!! i do it all the time.

    just found your site and cant wait to see more silly paint pics :-D

  11. Oh will hate me, but yesterday I let Caius get into one of those shopping cart car things without wiping it down, and then handed him a fruit leather to eat (without making him wash his hands first). I kept thinking "I can't admit this to Jo" - but then you made a post about it and I just had to comment.

    Also! WTF do you do about airplane bathrooms?? Those places are NASTY! And I don't even have OCD!

  12. "some people need to mind their own damn business!!" Amanda--you said it! Sheesh. Oh, and nice to have you here--just saw your blog, and I will totally be following that shit. Funny stuff. :)

    Chelsea: You taste like burger. I don't like you anymore.

    OK you can still be my best friend. THIS TIME.

    Airplane bathrooms are like port-a-potties...soooooo hard. Because they're so got-damn small and every whichway you turn, your body touches something. And that stupid fucking little sink? Is somebody kidding me? All I can do is my best, use paper towels to (repeatedly) turn the faucet back on to wash and rinse, then g back to my seat and Purell Purell Purell.

    Last time we took Maya on a plane, she was still in diapers. DO NOT EVEN ASK ME what I will do with a potty-trained child who needs to use a plane bathroom. I WILL BLOW A GASKET.

  13. I don't know how else to get in contact with you girl -- but I got some bloggy lovin for you!!

  14. As mentioned elsewhere, just wanted to say again, thank you Mommy Tuppence, for the lovin!! :)

  15. PS: Amanda, just tried to leave a message on your blog, but it didn't seem to go through. I tried to say, hey, our babes are almost the same age. My little one was born at the end of March! :)

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